Nightmares and Daydreams

Background info: This is an old dream that I haven’t posted because I wasn’t sure whether or not I wanted to remember it.
I dated a guy named Noah for a few months. He got me pregnant. I had gone to a party and drank booze and smoked a cigarette. It was after the cigarette that I knew I was pregnant because I had never felt so nauseus in my life. I was worried about the kid inside me…although I knew what my decison was already. 
I had an abortion. Before I had the abortion I had the same dream over and over again.

Dream:
I’m inside what looks like my home. I’m kneeling on one knee and my hands are softly gripping the arms of a boy. A boy who I had to get down on one knee in order to see his face. We were talking. He was telling me about his day. He looked so much like Noah. I knew him so well. He was my son… He might have looked like his father but he had my personality. He smiled and laughed like I did and questioned the world the same way I did.
It was a boy. I knew it was a boy.

p.s those of you who are following me. Remember this dream: http://saritasdreams.tumblr.com/post/16650914912/pregnant
take a look at the date. Doesn’t it sound A LOT like my background info? premoniton much?

I had a dream that an alien came to Earth and changed it’s physical appearance to my mom. I knew it wasn’t my mom so I demanded the alien to tell me where my real mom was. The alien actually took form of my mom pregnant (no she is not pregnant in real life). The alien wouldn’t tell me where she was so I started to hit it with everything I had; even it’s pregnant stomach (whether the alien was really pregnant or not I didn’t know). This is all I remember.

I can’t remember the dream too well but this is what I can remember.

Dream: So many people died. People I loved. My friend Jack (who is my friend in real life too) did something bad. He was in line and then he walked over to me and sat down. I had known what terrible thing he had done and I suddenly felt he was going to confess it. I cover his mouth with my hand immediately and he drops something that was hidden inside his clothes. It looks like a small metal ruler. A weapon.
We’re at a school and I immediately take the elevator upstairs. I think I have to do something to save him. He is an artist (in real life too) and I go to one of his art classes that he was suppose to be in at that moment but I was taking his place.

I draw something, I can remember the drawing too. A bunch of circles and eyes. But then I get up to leave and go to what looks like a courtyard. There’s a shooting and someone gets shot in the head. A man I can’t recognize but somehow I know he is the man I love. I don’t wake up in the dream but it’s as if I do. I suddenly get the feeling that I’m pregnant.
A friend of mine is driving and I’m sitting in the seat next to her telling her I have to take a pregnancy test to know whether I’m pregnant or not but I could feel that I was.
I also felt that the father of my children had been killed but I hadn’t fully realized it yet.
I have the pregnancy test in my  hand at one point but before I look at it-

I wake up.
and all I can think about is how our kids would have your eyes.
IF I was pregnant.